Choosing Your First Dildo: Size, Shape and Material
By Wicked Sex Toys | Published: 2026-10-21
Category: Buying Guides
Learn how to pick your first dildo based on size, shape, and material. Get practical advice on what to look for and what to avoid as a beginner.
Quick Answer
For your first dildo, choose a non-vibrating model with a length around 5–6 inches insertable and a width of 1.3–1.5 inches in a soft, flexible material like TPE or silicone. This size range is manageable for most beginners and allows you to focus on the sensation of penetration without the distraction of vibrations.
Why Size Matters Most for Beginners
The biggest mistake first-time buyers make is choosing a dildo that looks appealing but is too large. A toy that is too long or too wide can be uncomfortable or even painful, turning what should be a pleasurable experience into a frustrating one. Focus on insertable length (the part that actually goes in) and girth rather than total length.
A good starting point is a dildo with an insertable length of 5–6 inches and a width of 1.3–1.5 inches. This size is comparable to an average penis and lets you get used to the feeling of fullness without overwhelming you.
Shape: Realistic vs. Smooth
Realistic dildos have a defined head, veining, and sometimes textured balls. They provide a more anatomical feel and can be visually stimulating. Smooth dildos, on the other hand, have a uniform shaft and are often easier to insert and clean. Some people find the realistic texture adds sensation, while others prefer the simplicity of a smooth design.
If you're unsure, a realistic shape with moderate veining (like the Loving Joy 7 or 8 Inch models) gives you the best of both worlds: texture for sensation but still a straightforward shape.
Material: TPE vs. Silicone
TPE (thermoplastic elastomer) is a common material for budget-friendly dildos. It's soft, flexible, and has a skin-like feel. However, it's porous, meaning it can absorb fluids and bacteria over time, so it's not fully sanitizable. Silicone is body-safe, non-porous, and can be boiled to sterilize, but it tends to be more expensive and less flexible at the same firmness level.
For a first dildo, TPE is a fine choice if you're on a budget and plan to use it with a condom. If you want a long-term toy, invest in silicone. The Loving Joy models use TPE, which gives them a realistic flexibility and a soft touch at an accessible price point.
Three Decision Rules for Your First Dildo
- 1. Start with insertable length, not total length: Check the product specs for insertable length. For a first dildo, 5–6 inches is a safe range. Total length includes the base or balls, which don't go inside. Measure from the tip to the base of the shaft, not including balls or handle.
- 2. Choose width between 1.3 and 1.5 inches: This girth is comparable to an average penis and is comfortable for most beginners. Wider than 1.5 inches may require more warm-up or experience. If you're unsure, go slightly narrower rather than wider.
- 3. Pick a flexible material like TPE or soft silicone: A flexible dildo bends to your body's angles, making insertion easier and more comfortable. Rigid materials can feel unforgiving, especially for a first-time user. Avoid hard plastic or glass for your first dildo; save those for later once you know your preferences.
Product Facts: Two Beginner-Friendly Options
- Loving Joy 8 Inch Dildo with Balls Purple – Wicked Sex Toys: The Loving Joy 8 Inch Dildo with Balls Purple has a realistic shape with veining, pronounced head, and textured balls, but no motor. It holds its form firmly yet flexes to bend to whatever angle works. This means you can adjust the angle for comfort, making it easier for a beginner to find a position that feels good without the toy being too rigid.
Loving Joy 8 Inch Dildo with Balls Purple – Wicked Sex Toys - Loving Joy 7 Inch Dildo with Balls Pink: The Loving Joy 7 Inch Dildo with Balls Pink has 5.75 inches insertable and 1.4 inches width, with a veiny shaft and defined head, in soft pink TPE. This size is ideal for a first toy because it's not too long or thick, and the soft TPE gives a realistic feel that's gentle on the body.
Loving Joy 7 Inch Dildo with Balls Pink
Which Dildo Fits You?
Best for
- Complete beginners who want a realistic feel without vibrations
- Users on a budget who want a soft, flexible toy that's easy to handle
Not for
- Experienced users seeking large girth or length (6+ inches insertable, 2+ inches width)
- People who prefer vibrations or clitoral stimulation during penetration
